


The Start of Something New (A Natural Beginning)

by Stennerd



Series: Hidden Truths [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Ace!Eddie, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bi!Buck, Bi!Eddie, Demi!eddie, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Drowning, Nightmares, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, bed sharing, brief mentions of sex, buck has nightmares, communication is key, defacto relationship, mentions of the tsunami
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25464943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stennerd/pseuds/Stennerd
Summary: Eddie is finally settled with his sexuality for the first time in his life and he has Buck to thank for that. And now he's offering his spare bedroom to the guy, but he never thought it would end up like this.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Hidden Truths [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809796
Comments: 73
Kudos: 195





	1. Some jobs are worse than others

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am once again projecting myself heavily onto the idea of ace spectrum Eddie. Most of this is already written so chapters should be up pretty regularly 😊 I hope you like it as much I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> This is a continuation of part 1, there are some references to it, so I recommend you read that first for context 💖

Ever since that first talk, Buck and Eddie found themselves to be more open with each other than they ever were before. Buck started coming over more, in the beginning, to help Eddie research and learn more about asexuality and its spectrum. From all their readings and discussions, Eddie felt that Buck was right the first time, demisexuality felt like the right fit, and for the first time, he felt completely at ease with his identity.

It’s been a few months since then, and Buck had progressively become a reoccurring fixture in his life. Initially, he was around more often to help with the research, and then it started turning into a routine that he’d be around at least once a week to hang out and catch up on things outside of work. Christopher loved it to no end and Buck seemed to take pleasure in it just as much.

It’s now gotten to the point that Buck was around almost every second night and Eddie had taken to having the spare bedroom set up, should Buck ever need to stay the night after a late night or after one too many drinks.

Eddie didn’t mind it, in fact, it actually felt nice having another adult in the house to share responsibilities with again. So when, during some downtime at work, Buck starts talking about how the lease on his apartment was nearing an end and he was thinking of moving closer to the station, Eddie offered his spare bedroom.

“Seriously? Eddie, I wouldn’t want to impose.” Eddie rolls his eyes as if Buck hasn’t practically been living at his place already.

Chim snorts at that, “You say that like you weren’t couch-surfing at our places for weeks after you moved out of Abby’s place.”

Eddie ignores Chim’s dig and looks back at Buck, “Yeah, don’t even sweat it. I have that spare room that I haven’t put to use since I got the place.”

“You sure you want Buck to be living with you? What if one of you ends up bringing home a lady friend and wants some alone time?” asked Hen, jumping in on the conversation as she joined them on the couches.

Buck sits ups straighter at that, glancing in his direction when he noticed him shift uncomfortably at the notion that Hen was implying that he would just bring a random person over for sex. “I don’t know about Eddie, but I’m not looking to be bringing anyone home with me anytime soon and even if I did, there would be well advanced warning, and even then knowing Christopher would be home I’d be more likely to take them to a hotel instead.”

Eddie perked up at Buck subtly using the word them, but it didn’t seem like either Hen or Chim did. Buck catches his eye and they both share a look, each conveying their appreciation to each other, but before they could talk more on the matter, the firehouse alarm sounded.

Bobby was solemn on the drive to the job as explained the situation. That this was going to be a body retrieval. The police had been called to the discovery of a body that was floating face down, caught against one of the pylons of one of the bridges in the LA River. There had been some heavy rainfall in the past week, making the water levels higher than usual with a strong current, which was something that the police were not equipped for lest they get caught up in the flooded waterway themselves, so they had requested for more specialised assistance.

As they approach the scene and start piling out of the bus and the truck, Cap starts assigning positions. “We are going to approach this from above, Buck get harnessed up, I want you going down for recovery. Eddie, you’re on the winch. Hen and Chim, get the bus ready, we don’t know how long that person has been in the water, so there still might be a chance for resuscitation.”

Eddie goes to collect the gear and as both he and Buck prepared the ropes, Bobby followed them to the bridge’s edge. “Buck, the water is going to be cold, so get in, secure a rope and get out a quickly as possible, we’ll have a towel and blanket ready for you.”

Buck nods an affirmative he gives his harness and rope a once over and gives Eddie a brief fist bump and a thumbs up before starting his descent. He must have worked swiftly because he was back up on the bridge in no time at all, uniform soaked through and teeth chattering as he helped haul the body up over the lip of the bridge.

Eddie watched as Buck quickly disengaged from his rope and the body linked to him despite how much his hands were shaking, allowing Hen and Chim to take over. Eddie can’t help but follow him with his eyes in concern as he collects the towel and blanket before disappearing behind the truck, shoulders hunched over. He understood the quick getaway, it wouldn’t have been pleasant to hanging side by side with an ice-cold body attached to him.

They don’t see him again until everything was packed away and Hen and Chim were on the way to the hospital to handoff the poor soul who was well and truly gone by the time they had gotten to him.

Buck was seated back inside the truck, both towel, and blanket wrapped tightly around his torso as he stared intently down at the floor still shivering, barely acknowledging their presence when they return back to the truck. Bubby doesn’t say much to his disappearing act, recognising that the man had done what was asked of him without any complaint and was clearly trying to recover from the cold temperatures of the water.

It was worrisome to see Buck so subdued, so Eddie does the only thing he can think of and gently knocks his knee against Buck’s and successively gains his attention. “You good?”

“Y-yeah, j-just cold. Can’t w-wait to have a hot shower.” Buck answered with teeth still chattering as he smiles at him, but it didn’t reach his eyes. 

Thankfully it was the last call of their shift and with everyone’s low energy they were all quick to get out of there except Buck who opted to have a shower to wash away the freezing fetid water of the LA River before he went home.

Eddie had just hooked his duffle bag onto his shoulder and was just about to leave before Buck stalls on his way to the showers, towel in hand. “Hey, Eddie.”

“Yeah, Buck?”

He looks down hesitantly, “Were you serious about offering me your spare room?”

“Yeah man, I mean it’s practically your bedroom anyway with the number of times you’ve stayed over.” Not that he wasn’t serious before, but the radiant smile he gets from Buck makes the offer well worth it. And he goes home smiling himself, happy to have improved his best friend’s mood even just a little bit after the night they’ve had.


	2. Buckley sibling dinner night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Older sisters are very perceptive, Buck should have known Maddie would be concerned about his life choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changing things up with a little Buck perspective.

It was a few nights later and Buck was sitting on the floor starting the process of boxing up non-essential items, when his phone dinged with a text from Maddie saying she was on her way over, reminding him of the fact that it was Buckley sibling dinner night. And he was hosting, which meant that he was supposed to be ordering or cooking dinner while Maddie brought the wine. And…he had forgotten.

He quickly sent her a reply before checking the fridge for any feasible dinner options only to realise he hadn’t thought to restock his fridge, mostly because he’d been at Eddie’s place the last couple of nights. Picking up his phone Buck scrolled through dinner options before settling on ordering some Spanish dishes that he knew Maddie liked, to be delivered.

Just as he finished doing that he could hear Maddie’s keys jangling against the door, signaling her arrival.

Buck turned around and selected two wine glasses from the cabinet for them as Maddie breezed through the door. “Whew, traffic was a nightmare! Hey there, little brother.” She said walking in, planting a kiss on his cheek as she sets down a bottle of chardonnay beside the glasses.

“Hey Mads.” He responded fondly, “We’ve been having Chinese food too much lately, so I’ve got Spanish food on the cards for dinner tonight, should be here in half an hour or so.” Buck said as he poured the wine. He knew that she wasn’t really listening though, seeing as she was more focused on the numerous half-packed boxes sitting open throughout his living room.

Collecting both glasses, he handed Maddie one and took a sip of his own as she gestured to the room. “What’s with all the boxes?” She asked, brow furrowed, “Are you moving?”

Buck moved around the island bench and took a seat on one of the stools. “Yeah, my lease is almost a month away from ending, and I figured I’d find a place closer to the station.”

Maddie sat down across from him and eyed him with suspicion, “How long have you known?”

He shrugged nonchalantly and looked away at the boxes, knowing that she wasn’t going to like his answer. “A couple of months.”

Maddie reached over and lightly slapped him on the arm, “Evan! Why didn’t you tell me sooner, I could have been helping you find a place!”

He rolled his eyes at her antics, slightly offended that she thought he couldn’t find a place by himself. “I’ve been looking I swear! But I wasn’t sure whether I was going stay on for another contract or find somewhere else until now!”

She looked at him unconvinced, “So you found somewhere else then?”

Buck twirled his glass at the stem and took another sip as he muttered his answer into the liquid.

“ _Evan,”_ said Maddie warningly.

He sighed and set the glass down but kept his focus on it as he swirled its contents, knowing that there was no point in keeping it from her when she’d find out sooner or later. “Eddie offered his spare bedroom and I’m taking him up on it.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea.” Maddie reached across the space between them and placed her hand over his, “Despite the fact that I’ve teased you before about it being a boy crush, I know how much you like him.” He smiled softly, knowing she was referring to his accidental confession many months ago.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s just a stopover point for a month or so until I find the right place.” He couldn’t help but grin, “I think Eddie is just happy to have another adult in the house for once, someone to share the load with, even if it is for a little while.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door, but Buck could tell it wasn’t over with the way Maddie was looking at him. Picking up his wallet from the benchtop, he collected their dinner and handed the delivery person their tip before relocating them to the lounge room. It’s only then that Maddie resumed the conversation.

“I just wanted to make sure that you thought this all the way through. It surely won’t be easy living with someone you’ve been crushing on who doesn’t feel the same way.” She said, concern bleeding into her words.

He gave her a look, “Come on Maddie, give me some credit, I’ve managed this long while working with him haven’t I?”

He appreciated her looking out for him, he really did, but he was going to be selfish. If Eddie was offering a chance for him to get closer and be his housemate then Buck was going to take it even if it was just temporary.

“I know. I just can’t help but worry about my baby brother.” She fell quiet at that but continued to scrutinize his face, so much so that Buck couldn’t hold her gaze any longer and turned his full attention to the food in his hands. “Speaking of which, how has work been lately? You look tired.”

Buck shrugged and continued to pick at his meal, appetite abandoning him with her line of questioning hit a little too close to home, implying that he wasn't sleeping, which in all honesty he wasn’t. “We had a bad call a few nights ago, and it just been playing on my mind lately, that’s all.”

“Howie didn’t mention anything, what happened?”

Buck sighed and set down what was left of the yellow rice he was playing with and topped up his glass instead, “I was sent down into the LA River for a body retrieval, had to be up close and personal the victim while securing a rope around him.” He shuddered, “let’s just say it wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences.”

Maddie pursed her lips like she did whenever she got lost in thought and he could see her putting two and two together. “The tsunami,” she murmured before redirecting her attention back to him, “I’m guessing it’s brought back bad memories?” 

Buck nodded, “But I’ve got it under control Mads, you don’t need to worry about it.” and he doesn’t elaborate more than that, unwilling to make a big deal out of a few hours of lost sleep.

He knew he was lying to himself, but he didn’t want to admit that it was worse than what he’d made it out to be. Also, because he didn’t want to admit that the tsunami affected him even now especially after he pretended he was fine back then after it happened.

Maddie pulled him out of his thoughts with a light touch to the knee, “As long as you know you can talk to me about it, same as always.”

“I know.” He replied softly.

They sit quietly for a bit after that with the atmosphere of the room weighing heavily on them. Buck couldn’t stand for that, it wasn’t the point of these dinners so he changed the subject, moving onto lighter conversation by asking Maddie how things were going with Chim.

She immediately brightened at his question and proceeded to gush about the things she and Chim have gotten up to lately. It did seem strange to know more about his workmate than he ever wanted to, but in saying that, he was happy for them, glad to know that they had found joy and love with each other.


	3. Platonic love or Romantic love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck has moved into Eddie's place, Eddie has noticed something is up with him but he doesn't know what. Maybe things would have turned out differently if Buck had remembered to shut his bedroom door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are back to Eddie's pov.

Eddie loved having Buck around. As much as he loved Carla’s help with Christopher when he was at work, it just didn’t compare to having a second set of hands around the house when he _was_ home. He couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t felt stressed as a single dad trying to get everything done in a day.

And now he had Buck there who was just _there_ to fill in the gaps as if it was the easiest thing in the world. It hasn’t felt this easy since he lived with Shannon. Having him in the house made Eddie realise what he had been missing since he moved to LA.

Buck somehow managed to get the things done that Eddie never seemed to have at the forefront of his mind; Putting on a load of laundry before the hamper was overflowing, wiping down the cooktop of the stove before it was caked in layers of splattered food and oil and lastly but most importantly, keeping the freezer well-stocked with homemade frozen meals for the days when they would get home late and didn’t have the energy for cooking but were still in need of something substantial to eat.

There was only one thing that bothered him though, Buck had moved in a little over two weeks ago and Eddie, for the life of him, couldn’t put his finger on what was different about him. The only thing he noticed was that Buck was quieter, more subdued somehow, but Eddie couldn’t think of a reason why that would be.

He still kept to their usual routine of cooking the three of them breakfast or dinner when they had that time together, so they didn’t have to rely on Eddie’s woeful cooking abilities. He still lit up like the sun when Chris would ask him for help with something. And he was always ready to lend a hand whenever Eddie needed something done.

He fit seamlessly into their lives without breaking a sweat and yet it felt like Eddie was missing a vital piece of information, a piece to the puzzle that was Buck because at the moment he could see the puzzle, but he wasn’t actually _seeing_ the picture it created. It bothered him, but he didn’t want to bring it up, because there wasn’t an actual problem to bring up and he knew that Buck would tell him if there was something wrong, wouldn’t he?

He finally got his answer a couple of nights later when he was woken up to the sound of low whimpers and whispers. He was generally a light sleeper, it came with the territory when you were in the army and it was something he’d never been able to shake since.

Getting up, Eddie padded his way down the hallway, expecting to find Christopher having a rare nightmare, something he hadn’t had for months now, only to find him sleeping soundly. Frowning, he listened again thinking maybe he had been imagining the sounds, only to hear more clearly now that they were coming from Buck’s room. And his door was open.

Eddie frowned even more deeply at that because in all the time Buck had stayed here, never once did he leave his bedroom door open. He must have been exhausted if he’d forgotten to do it this time.

Not entirely sure what to expect, Eddie hesitantly peered around the doorframe to see something he never could have anticipated.

In the silver moonlight that was filtering through the window by Buck’s head, Eddie could see that Buck was curled up in the foetal position facing the door, looking the smallest he had ever seen him. There was sweat beaded on his forehead and he had a white knuckle grip on his pillow which he had pulled tightly to his chest. Even from his position by the door, Eddie could see Buck’s lips moving as he murmured in his sleep, periodically making a sound louder than a whisper.

It was heartbreaking to witness Buck in such a vulnerable state, and before Eddie knew it his feet were carrying him to Buck’s bedside and he was reaching out to wake him from whatever bad dream he seemed to be having. Eddie hovered with his hand above Buck’s shivering form, wondering whether or not this was a good idea. 

Now that he was closer, he could see that the sweat was not just on Buck’s forehead but actually coating his body in a glistening sheen, matting his short untamed curls to his forehead. While he tried to make up his mind, Buck uttered the first clear thing since he found him like this, “Christopher… where are you?...” he muttered into his pillow, “…need to…find you….”

Eddie couldn’t take it anymore, not with the amount of anguish he could hear even in Buck’s smallest of voices. The instant his hand contacted Buck’s exposed arm the guy jolted awake, blindly flailing his arms as if he was fighting an unseen force.

Eddie reacted quickly speaking to him as he manages to catch both of Buck’s forearms and pressed them to his chest “Buck! Buck, it’s alright, it's just me, its just Eddie.” It takes Buck a few beats, but he slowly takes in his surroundings, eyes eventually landing on Eddie.

“Eddie?” He managed to croak out, “What are you doing in my room?”

Seeing that Buck was back with him, Eddie released his arms but stayed close to the bed, “I could hear you from my room. You left your door open.” He ended up answering.

Buck sat up abruptly at that, eyes going almost comically wide, “Oh shit, Eddie! I forgot to shut it, I’m sorry for waking you.” 

“It's fine, I’m actually glad you did. Are you alright?” Eddie asked even though he already knew the answer.

Buck shrugged and looked down at his lap. “Yeah, I’m fine. You should just go back to bed.”

Eddie considered the answer for a moment tempted to leave him be and just go back to sleep, that is until he eyed the glazed look in his face and saw the tremors wracking Buck’s body. He knew a bad nightmare when he saw one. “Hmm, nope. Come on.”

Eddie took Buck’s wrist and pulled him out of bed, ignoring the hushed protests coming from said man. He doesn’t release him until they were in his bedroom standing at the foot of the bed. He left him standing there but Eddie felt Buck’s eyes on him as he moved to close the door.

Buck stood there, mouth slightly agape, crossing one arm to rub the other. “Uh, Eddie? What are you doing?”

“Get in the bed Buck.” He said as he gestured towards it from his position beside the door.

“What?!”

“Get. In. The. Bed. It’s not rocket science.” When Buck still doesn’t move from his spot, he sighed and lay down onto his side of the bed and pats the spot next to him, “Look, I know how hard it can be to sleep after a nightmare. What I _do_ know is that it’s easier when there’s someone next to you. So just get in the damn bed. I won’t bite.”

In the darkness, Eddie could see Buck’s silhouette standing there as he weighed it up in his head before he gingerly settled himself under the covers on the other side of the bed as far as he could be from Eddie. Even across the space between them, Eddie could feel the tension coming off Buck in waves and he knew he wasn’t going to be able to sleep until Buck was comfortable and relaxed.

“You were dreaming about the tsunami, weren’t you?” He asked quietly in the dark void of the bedroom, breaking the tense silence.

“How did you know?” Buck’s voice was small, barely louder than a whisper.

Eddie shifted his head and looked at Buck before rolling over to face him, sliding his hand under his pillow. “You were talking in your sleep before I woke you. Buck, that was so long ago, why are you having nightmares about it now?”

Just barely Eddie could see from Buck’s profile that he was staring up at the ceiling. “I haven’t had one in ages but then I had to recover that body from the river a few weeks ago.” He eventually ended us saying after a pregnant pause. “That’s what brought back the nightmares, it was a vivid reminder of what I saw when I was searching for Chris.”

Well, that explained why he reacted the way he did all those weeks ago. “So, this isn’t the first time you’ve had them, you had them back then too. Is that why you always sleep with your door shut? So we wouldn’t hear you?”

“Pretty much yeah.” Buck breathed out.

“Oh Buck, come here. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” Eddie reaches across the bed and tugs at Buck’s still-damp shirt until he was on his side facing Eddie, and he shuffled over so he could wrap his arms around Buck, so his face was against his chest. Buck stiffened at the unexpected hug before he slowly relaxed into Eddie’s arms with a sigh.

“Thanks, Eddie,” Buck mumbled into his shirt, his voice was thick with sleep as he valiantly fought to stay awake as if he knew that if he fell asleep again, it would just result in another nightmare. Peering down at Buck’s face Eddie felt this unexpected want well up inside him to kiss away the worry lines on Buck’s forehead. Feeling like that would definitely be crossing some sort of line, Eddie draws Buck in even closer instead, “I’m here now, so try to get some rest and I’m a light sleeper so I’ll wake you again it if it starts back up.”

That must have been what Buck was waiting to hear because barely a minute later his breathing was evening out, gently pressing the loose material of Eddie’s shirt against his skin in slow rhythmic breaths as his body tilted forward so he was resting more heavily against Eddie than he was before.

Eddie stayed awake for longer though, thinking about the situation he’d put himself in. Nothing about this felt uncomfortable, Buck was his best friend and holding him like this, in an almost intimate way felt so normal. And that’s what had him wondering. Wondering if what he’s feeling was platonic love or romantic love. For goodness sake, he had just thought about kissing his best friend’s head which was a sentiment that has never crossed his mind before.

Has he gone from loving Buck as a friend, to think that there might be something more to it than just that? If so, when did that happen? He has loved having Buck’s friendship, and yet now, in this moment it felt like how it was when he was with Shannon. And it felt good, better even, than he could have thought possible. But what would Buck think about it? He’s only here in the bed right now because he was in a vulnerable state with nightmares clouding his judgment.

It was too late now for him to be thinking about this, and maybe he was imagining things with exhaustion pulling at the edges of his consciousness. He’ll consider everything when he wakes up, thinking about it properly with a clear head, but right now he was content, cradling Buck’s sleeping form to his chest as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and maybe, just maybe it was.


	4. Sometimes all you need is to talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie wakes up to find the two of them in a different position than when they fell asleep. It's something that they would need to talk about but, right now, their first priority is getting Christopher to school on time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a lot of agonising when I was editing this chapter and I wasn't too sure about a few things, but I hope you guys like it 💖

Eddie woke comfortably, more comfortably than he could have anticipated from sharing a bed with his best friend, and he figured it has something to do with what was going on behind him. There was an arm wrapped tightly around his waist, and small puffs of air ruffling the hairs on the back of his neck. He could feel the warm lines of Buck’s body contoured against his own and it felt like home.

This is what he wanted; he never expected it, never even occurred to him that it was something that wanted from Buck and yet in this moment Eddie couldn’t imagine it being anyone else. Maybe his sleep-addled brain was onto something last night. Maybe he’s been loving Buck romantically for a while now and hadn’t even realised it.

Buck had integrated himself into his life, into his family, so completely that Eddie hadn’t even batted an eye. If he was being completely honest with himself, Buck already felt like a significant other in more ways than one.

His alarm hadn’t gone off yet and Eddie would rather it not wake Buck after he managed to fall into a peaceful slumber for the rest of the night. The only problem was that he couldn’t reach his phone, not with Buck anchoring him in place. As soon as he even tried to extricate himself to get to it, Buck unconsciously nuzzled his face between Eddie’s shoulder blades as he somehow managed to pull him impossibly closer. 

Eddie found it endearing and couldn’t quite suppress the chuckle bubbling in his chest, the slight shaking of his back must have disturbed Buck’s sleep because the man was slowly coming around mumbling imperceptible things as he once again tightens his grasp around Eddie’s waist before coming to life with a gasp as if he’d branded himself, falling out of bed with a heavy thump.

Eddie rolls over to see Buck’s bed tousled hair emerging from the side of the bed with his hands outstretched, panicked.

“Oh my god. Eddie, I am so sorry.” He runs a hand through his hair, tugging slightly at the ends, looking out of sorts, “That was so out of line-”

“Buck.”

“-can’t believe that I invaded your space like that. I knew I shouldn’t have stayed last night, that was a mista-”

Eddie knelt on the bed, shuffling on his knees to the edge as he reached out to him. “Evan, stop. It’s okay.”

Buck took a few steps back, shying away from his hands. “No Eddie it’s not. I crossed a line. A line that I swore to myself that I wouldn’t cross.”

“We need to talk about this.” Before he has the chance to say anything else on the matter, his alarm breaks his focus reminding him that there was a reason it was set in the first place. “But right now we need to get Chris off to school.”

And so, they went about their usual daily routine; Buck moved towards the kitchen to whip up something quick for breakfast while Eddie checked to see that Chris was getting up. Eddie tried to keep it light as they got Chris ready for school, making a point to appear unfazed by the morning's turn of events in hopes to relieve some of Buck’s anxiety. 

Judging from the way Buck’s smile wasn’t reaching his eyes when he saw Christopher, and the way he kept a respectable distance away from Eddie when he could or the fact that he wouldn’t meet his eye, told Eddie that Buck was far from relaxed.

Usually when they had the morning off Eddie would take Chris to school by himself, but Eddie didn’t want Buck stewing by himself or even disappearing before he got back, so he invited him along while Christopher was in the room because he knew Buck wouldn’t say no. It was a low blow using his son, but Eddie needed Buck to understand that what happened didn’t bother him.

Buck kept stealing glances on the drive to the school looking as though he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, luckily for Eddie though, Chris kept the both of them occupied with the inane questions that only a 9-year-old could come up with. And for a moment he thought that maybe that would be enough for Buck to realise that everything was okay between them.

Turned out he was wrong.

Buck didn’t say anything on the drive back, instead, he just stared at Eddie intently as if he wanted to say something but didn’t know what to say. Eventually, he broke his silence as they made their way back into the house, ending up in the kitchen with Eddie moving to make coffee while Buck took a seat at the kitchen table.

“Why aren’t you mad?” He made a placating gesture, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that you’re not but not many straight guys would be cool with waking up to find their known bisexual friend spooning them. That's not exactly normal friend behaviour and the last thing I want to do would be to make you feel uncomfortable for doing that.”

That made sense, thought Eddie and he took his time to reply, trying to figure out the best thing to say, he sighed as he pulled two mugs from the cabinet and set them down on the counter, “I’m not mad because I liked it, Buck, it was nice to wake up to.”

“Wait, what?” He didn’t have to see Buck’s face to hear the clear confusion in his voice.

Keeping his hands busy, Eddie went about clearing out the old coffee grounds in the coffee machine and set it up with some new grounds before finally turning around to look at Buck. “I was thinking about this last night and this morning when you were asleep, and I realised that I might like you, Buck. And not just as a friend.”

“Oh.”

Eddie gave him a pointed look and crossed his arms, leaning back against the counter, hoping Buck would elaborate.

Buck blushed and looked down, tracing his finger on the table, “yeah uhm, I’m sorry, it’s just I’ve had a crush on you for a while now, but I never thought you would ever feel the same way.” He looked up quickly, as if he’d just realised something, “I didn’t think you’d ever be interested or that you were into guys for that matter.”

It only took a couple of strides before Eddie was at the table and he hurriedly sat in the chair opposite Buck, placing his hand over Buck’s “This is news to me too, I didn’t know I was into guys either, but then I was holding you last night and it just kind of clicked. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

He was about to try and elaborate more, but the coffee machine signaled that it was done so he went about making both of the coffees without missing a beat, not needing to ask Buck his preference. Picking up both mugs, Eddie jerked his head towards the door to the living room, a familiar gesture that Buck doesn’t question and trails after him as he lead them to the couch before handing Buck his coffee as he takes a seat.

Buck took a sip of his before taking his usual spot and turned his body to face Eddie, tucking his leg under the other as he does so, just like every other time they’ve had one of their ‘discussions’. Looking down at his coffee, Eddie rubbed his thumb along the rim of the cup.

“I think I must have had romantic feelings for you for a while because waking up next to you this morning felt normal and familiar, and the more I thought about it the more I realised that we’ve actually been acting as if we're in a relationship, and I just never noticed it until now.”

Buck set down his mug carefully as he considered what Eddie was trying to imply. “What are you trying to say Eds? Are you trying to say you want to be more than just friends? Be boyfriends?”

“I-uh, yes? Maybe?” Eddie sighed and set down his coffee, “But Evan, before we decide on whatever this is between us, I’ll be completely honest with you, I want it to work but I need to know if you’re willing to go slow with me even with the possibility of us never having sex.” 

Buck leaned forward and caressed Eddie’s face with a coffee-warmed hand, “I’m willing. Eddie, we can go as slow or as fast as you want, and if that means we never go past kissing, well then so be it because I get to be with you and that’s all I need.”

Eddie watched as Buck drifted in even closer, eyes darting as they search his, “Eddie, can I kiss you?”

Eddie nodded with a whispered yes before Buck closed the distance between their lips. Buck's lips were surprisingly soft and supple as pressed against his. Eddie couldn’t help but let his eyes fall shut with the smallest of gasps as he melted into this impossibly tender kiss.

They kept it light with neither of them in a rush to deepen it. Instinctively he brought one hand to Buck’s waist while he gently dragged the other through Buck’s hair to cradle the back of his head, keeping a steady pressure of his lips against Buck’s. It felt like a promise of what could and will be and Eddie felt like he could go on for days just like this, connected to Buck.

Eventually, they part lips, each with a contented sigh and Buck cupped the back of Eddie’s neck lightly as he presses their foreheads together, his breath feathering against his lips. “Was that okay?”

Slightly breathless, Eddie couldn’t help but grin at Buck. “It was better than okay.”

Buck answered his grin with one of his own, lighting up his face with its brilliance as he gives Eddie a small peck on the lips once more before separating and recollecting his coffee before shuffling close to rest his body against Eddie’s.

They stay settled like that pressed up side by side, with Eddie’s arm circled around Buck’s shoulder now that Buck had slid down against his chest. Neither really knowing what to do with themselves now that their relationship status has changed, as it seemed nothing in their life needed to change with it. So, they just stayed like that, contented to relish in this moment for as long as they could before they had work that afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter to go! An epilogue of sorts that will include the whole extended firefam


	5. Time is something you have, until the universe decides otherwise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's official Eddie and Buck are dating but they aren't ready to tell anyone just yet, too bad the team had other plans for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, sorry guys, it's been a hot minute since the last chapter, life got in the way for a bit and then I had some serious writers block on a number of sections of this chapter as well. Hope you enjoy it 💖

After the events of that morning, Buck had migrated from his bedroom to sleeping in Eddie’s bed, it seemed only natural for him to do so. And Eddie _was_ right, it was far easier to sleep against the threat of nightmares when there was someone sleeping next to you, especially when their body is snuggled up against yours and they were holding you close.

Now when he went to sleep he had an arm wrapped around his torso anchoring him in the present and allowing him to experience the memory without being immersed in it. If he focused on it, Buck was able to pull himself out of the dream and when he did, he took comfort in taking hold of Eddie’s hand, holding it close to his chest.

Sometimes he would wake to their positions reversed, and in those cases Buck would bury his face into Eddie’s back, placing a hand over his heart. He learned pretty quickly the steady rhythm of Eddie’s heartbeat settled his own.

And in both instances, Eddie would stir and press himself closer, sleepily planting a kiss on his body if the opportunity presented before going back to sleep. It was safe to say the nightmares were less aggressive and were dying off again now that he had Eddie there as a reminder that he wasn’t alone with the memories anymore.

During the day, their life had become even more domestic than it was before. They told Christopher almost immediately, knowing that there was no point in hiding it from him with them all living under the same roof. He seemed pretty excited about it, commenting that “Bucky won’t have to find a new place now!” And then went on with his day, pleased with the prospects of having his Buck living with them forever.

Buck was also pleased knowing that didn’t have to withhold from his desire to be close to Eddie anymore. Now he got to hug him from behind when he was brushing his teeth, he was now allowed to lean against Eddie when they had movie nights without it being weird, and he could pepper him with kisses him whenever he wanted. It was a whole new dimension to their relationship and all of it was so easy to fall into.

Eddie seemed to thrive off the close contact too and gave as much as he got. Pressing himself up against Buck and dropping a kiss on his shoulder as he peered around him to see what he had cooked, absentmindedly trailing his fingers along Buck’s arms or shoulders when they inevitably sat leaning against each other on the couch to watch tv, or just planting a chaste kiss to his cheek when Buck would hand him his morning coffee before they left for work.

It was familiar and comfortable, and gave Buck the feeling of home, exactly what he had been searching for but had seemed just out of his reach.

Surprisingly, their work-life hadn’t seemed to change much since they’d become boyfriends. They were already protective of each other as partners as it was, now it was just dialed up a little higher. No one seemed to notice the difference in their attentiveness towards each other, and they supposed that was a blessing because they were still figuring things out and taking things slow and didn’t want the scrutiny that would be sure to follow that announcement.

Unfortunately for them, the way the team found out about them, however, was far from how they expected to bring it up. Namely, because it happened only two weeks after that first kiss.

It was at one of their monthly afternoon team gatherings at the Grant-Nash household, having everyone come together with their families on of their day’s off. It was always nice to see each other in a relaxed setting and catching up with the family members they wouldn’t often see outside these gatherings.

Buck, Eddie, and Christopher had all come in the same truck, it would have seemed impractical if they didn’t when they were all coming from the same house. They shared a fleeting kiss at the door before entering, finding everyone gathered out in the backyard, relaxing on the deck while the kids played out in the grass.

Greeting everyone, Buck migrated towards the cooler and picked out a drink for him and Eddie, taking off both the caps before sidling up to Eddie, who had just started talking to Karen and pressed one of the bottles into his hand with a light pat to the shoulder. Instinctively taking hold of it, Eddie brought it up to his lips without looking at it, keeping focused on Karen who was updating him on how things were going with Nia.

Buck left him to it and moved to sit beside his sister who seemed to be having a quiet moment, half-listening to Chim, Hen, and Athena sharing stories of their most disastrous cooking attempts. As soon as he took his seat she leaned into him looking mischievous as she eyed Eddie.

“You look happy little brother. That wouldn’t have something to do with you arriving with the Diaz boys would it?” She asked, murmuring to him quietly, being sure that the others didn’t overhear.

Buck had to suppress a grin by pursing his lips, but that did nothing to stop the smile from reaching his eyes. He turned his head, close to her ear, keeping his voice low but his words light, “They might have something to do with it.”

She took in his expression, reading between the lines and let out a minute gasp. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

He nodded, ducking his head to hide his warming cheeks. “We haven’t told anyone yet and we hoped to keep it that way for a little while longer.” He gave her a meaningful look.

“My lips are sealed. I promise.” She said smiling at him in delight. “I’m happy it worked out.”

Buck looked across at Eddie on the other side of the deck, “Me too Mads.”

** ** ** ** ** **

With their bellies full and bathed in the lazy afternoon sunshine, all the adults had drifted into one group blending their conversations until they became one as they claimed their spots on the outdoor furniture.

The kids had disappeared inside some time ago and Eddie had kindly offered to check on them to see if they needed anything. Now Buck wished he came back sooner because he’s not sure he was liking the direction of the current topic, making him the subject of everyone’s attention.

“Buck, what been up with you lately, it’s been a while since you’ve talked about dating. What happened? Did somebody lock you down and you’ve just been hiding her from us?” Bobby asked good-naturedly when there was a lull in the conversation.

Buck leaned back into the sofa cushion, nursing his beer. “Ah nope, I’m happy with where I’m at right now.”

“Ooh yeah, let’s get you back into the dating scene. A guy like you shouldn’t be single for this long.” Remarked Hen.

“I know of a couple of singles ladies at the precinct who you might like to meet.” Piped in Athena offhandedly as she raised her wineglass, “I’d be happy to put in a good word.”

Realising that he had been unconsciously scratching his thumb against the paper label of his beer, Buck set it down by his foot, not wanting anyone to see his nervous habit. “While I appreciate your concern, I am more than capable of finding a date on my own.”

Chim wasn’t ready to give up that easily as he chimed in with, “Aw come on Buck, let us set you up with someone-.”

As much as he loves this group of people, they did have a tendency every so often to get attached to an idea, turning into a snowball effect when they all start piling onto each other’s thoughts. And to his dismay, it seemed his efforts to stop them were falling on deaf ears.

“I’d really rather you didn’t.”

At that point, Eddie had reappeared and Buck could see him out of the corner of his eye as he took in the scene before him before slotting himself in the last available spot next to Buck. As Buck continued to push back against the idea of being set up with a random woman, he felt Eddie’s hand slowly slide into his before pulling it onto his lap.

Feeling calmer from that action alone, Buck relaxed slightly into the sofa until he realised what Eddie had just done. Sitting upright again, Buck turned to look at him asking the unspoken question. The answer he got from Eddie came in the form of a small smile and the barest of nods with his thumb rubbing his knuckles comfortingly.

“Uhh, hold up.” Karen who had been quietly observing them up until this point held up a finger interrupting whatever Chim had started to say before gesturing at their linked hands drawing everyone’s attention who at this point hadn’t yet noticed, “What’s going on with this. Am I missing something here?”

“I- uh, well, we-“

“Wait, are you guys together? Like _together_ , together?” interrupted Chim, confusion written all over his face.

“Uh, yes?” Buck looked to Eddie for confirmation, who didn’t say anything, instead bringing their joined hands to his lips and kissing the back of Buck’s hand.

“Yeah...” Buck exhaled, lost for a moment in Eddie’s eyes until Eddie cleared his voice, indicating with his eyes that the others were waiting for him to elaborate. 

Shaking himself out of his lovestruck stupor over the simple tender act, Buck turned his attention back to all the equally surprised and questioning faces staring back at them and opened his mouth before Eddie beat him to the punch. “Yeah, Buck and I are dating.”

The reaction was instantaneous with everyone talking over the top of one another.

“You guys are dating?!” “How did this happen?” “I didn’t know you were attracted to guys?!?” “Is that why Buck hasn’t found a new place yet?” “How long has this been going on?”

“Guys, jeez one at a time please!” Buck raised his voice over the cacophony, feeling slightly overwhelmed with the number of voices speaking at once. Thankfully it worked like a charm because everyone was quick to quieten down looking at him expectantly.

“This was not how I or Eddie pictured us announcing our relationship to you, but yes, Eddie and I are dating, and have been for about two weeks.”

Hen raised her hand, “I’m probably not the only one thinking this, and please don’t take this the wrong way but I didn’t know either of you were attracted to guys. Is this something new, or have we just been completely oblivious?”

Buck looked to Eddie before answering. “I’m not going to speak for Eddie, but personally, I’ve known this for quite some time from back in my teenage years. There was a period of time that I wasn’t proud of my sexuality.” He sighed and bit his lip, “So when I joined the 118 I chose not to openly announce my bisexuality, but I also didn’t keep it a secret either. I dated a couple of guys in my 1.0 phase and when I talked about them I didn’t use pronouns. I just let you guys assume what you wanted, which, just so you know, I was totally fine with.”

There were a few contemplative nods, and Buck could see each member of their team internally replaying those moments, while the others turned their attention to Eddie. Probably unconsciously, Eddie had tightened his grip at the attention, so Buck leaned into him and whispered into his ear, “You don’t have to tell them if you’re not ready.”

“No, it’s alright. I made my choice when I took your hand. I’m just nervous.” Eddie murmured back under his breath.

Buck shifted so that his body angled towards Eddie, giving him his undivided attention. “You can tell them as little or as much as you want, they’ll accept anything you’re willing to offer.” He gathered up Eddie’s hand, encompassing it between both of his and brush his lips against his knuckles before settling them back in his lap. 

Buck watched him as he did this, seeing Eddie close his eyes and taking in a slow calming breath and relaxing his grip before opening them to address everyone else who had been patiently watching their inaudible exchange with looks of fondness **.**

“I’m going to start by saying that I’m not very good at reading relationships. It takes me a long time to know whether the love I have for someone is purely friendship or could be interpreted as something more.” Eddie paused, clearing his throat, “Yes, I had a wife and we had Christopher, but there was no one before or after her because I never felt the attraction towards anyone else.”

He sucked in a deep breath and continued in a rush. “It takes a lot of familiarity and or a deep emotional bond for me to really know for sure and I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m demisexual and up until about two weeks ago, I didn’t know that I was into guys either.”

There was a long pregnant pause after Eddie’s speech and up until this point Buck had only been watching his face. Buck turned to look at the others to gauge their reactions at both of their confessions and the best he could describe is that they were all looking at them and each other in various degrees of fondness and pride.

Finally, it was Athena who broke the spell as she cleared her throat. “I think I speak for all of us when I say thank you for trusting us with this and we are so happy for you both.”

The rest of the group followed suit echoing Athena’s sentiments in a chorus of appreciation and word of thanks, and those closest to them reached out to pat their shoulders or give their knees a squeeze in support and gratitude of their trust.

Michael, who had been the quietest of the group since the team had started coercing Buck into being set up on a blind date, got up from his seat and moved purposefully to stand in front of them.

Buck had always liked Michael from the moment that they met, despite the fact that they weren’t exactly close. So, he was surprised to see the man sporting the widest of smiles as he reached down to pull them both from their seat and into his arms.

It was firm and warm, and so fatherly that Buck all but melted into it. Peeking around Michael’s back he could hazard a guess that Eddie felt the same way with the way his forehead was pressed into Michael’s shoulder and arm pressed tightly against his back.

And then Michael spoke, loud enough that they could both hear him but intimately quietly enough that no one would overhear, “My door will always be open to you both, should you ever need it.”

“Thank you Michael, you have no idea how much that means to us.” Mumbled Buck, doing his best to hold back happy tears at such a familial reaction from Michael.

As if on cue, all at once everyone stood up and joined their small huddle transforming it into a huge group hug. It was awkward and squishy with so many bodies pressed up against each other, and yet it was so comforting to know that that the family he chose accepted him and Eddie as easily as he hoped they would.

After enough laughing and more love and words of pride sent their way, the group broke apart with each person sporting a glowing smile as they all retook their seats, falling back into light-hearted chatter. Maddie caught his eye, with eyes twinkling as she mouthed to him “proud of you.”

And he answered in kind with a simple “love you.”

After some time, its Chim who caught everyone’s attention bringing up a very important question. “Did we have a bet on this?” he asked gesturing towards Buck and Eddie who had been leaning into each other, quietly letting the chatter wash over them as they took it all in together.

Bobby chuckled at Chim, “I think we had one for how long it would take for Buck to find a new place, but I’m pretty sure that we didn’t have anything on them becoming a couple.”

“Seriously? You guys had a bet on me!” Buck exclaimed, feeling somewhat offended.

Hen shrugged her shoulders, “Honestly, considering how many bets we’ve had over the years, you shouldn’t be so surprised.”

Beside him, Eddie laughed at their antics, “Well whoever bet the longest should get the money because Buck will be staying with me for the foreseeable future,” Eddie announced before looking uncertainly at Buck, “if he wants to that is.”

“For as long as you’ll have me,” Buck answered with a grin before cupping his cheek and gently touching his lips to Eddie’s in the briefest of kisses, not wanting to be _that_ kind of couple with excessive PDA.

Nonetheless, there were still cheers and wolf whistles directed at them, and when they parted they discovered Karen collecting her reward. Noticing their gazes on her she shrugged at them with a smug smile, “What? Just because I’m not in the firehouse doesn’t mean I can’t be part of the bets.”

Buck grinned back at her, pleased that she at least won a decent amount from his inability to leave the Diaz household.

** ** ** ** ** **

It was late afternoon when the families started heading home, bidding their farewells and taking home leftover food that Bobby and Athena insisted they take lest the fridge would overflow.

Soon enough, Buck, Eddie, and Chris had made back to their place and settled in for the evening, feeling pleasantly drained from being out for the day and keen to just relax on the couch together, still full from the afternoon of eating.

As much as he wanted to relax, Eddie found himself locked in a daze, now that the reality of the events of the afternoon had caught up with him. He had not only come out to his close circle of friends in one go but also announced that he had a boyfriend who happened to be his best friend; both things he never thought would ever happen.

Never before had he felt so exposed and yet so relieved at revealing so much about himself. He’s thankful that the team and their families are such wonderful and accepting people, but it could have gone completely differently if they weren’t. So much and so little has changed that Eddie is at loss, feeling both mentally and emotionally drained over that conflicting notion.

He could tell Buck was worried from the glances he kept catching out of the corner of his eye while he stared mindlessly at the tv. Thankfully, Buck let him be, instead carrying the conversation with Christopher for the evening until it was his bedtime. And while Buck tucked Christopher in for the night, Eddie found himself staring off into space holding an untouched full glass of water by the kitchen sink.

Its Buck’s voice that breaks through his thoughts, “You doing okay?” He asked softly, slipping his arms around his waist as he dipped his head down to pepper butterfly kisses along his shoulder before touching his cheek to Eddie’s temple as he slowly swayed them side to side.

Eddie couldn’t help by smile at Buck’s gentle approach and set down the glass before overlaying his arms over Buck’s and leaned back against him. “Yeah,” he replied, “just trying to wrap my head around everything today.”

Buck hummed, “It’s a lot to process.” 

“Knowing that you’ve just trusted a lot of people in one go with a long-held secret, yeah, it is.” Eddie agreed.

“Do you regret it?”

Eddie turned in Buck’s arms, touching a hand to his cheek. “Not at all. This is the most open I’ve ever been about myself with anyone else and I have you to thank for that.”

Buck shrugged bashfully, placing his hand over Eddie’s as he turned his face to kiss the palm of his hand. “All I did was run into you at a Pride festival, the rest was all you.”

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Eddie said tenderly.

Buck smiled warmly and took a step back, out of Eddie’s reach but kept a gentle grip on his hand, “Come on,” he said quietly, “Let’s go to bed, you’ll feel better in the morning after a good nights sleep.”

And Eddie, trusting the man implicitly, let Buck lead him to the bedroom already feeling more like himself just from talking to him and feeling so lucky to have such an amazing person in his life that is able to put him at ease with just a few choice words and actions.

They slotted themselves easily into each other arms as the settled under the covers, falling asleep happy and content, feeling more at peace with themselves knowing that all would be well as long as they were by each other’s side and had each other’s back in the moments that mattered most.

~ Fin ~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. There are parts that I love and there are parts that I probably should have given more TLC, but it's done now and I didn't want to keep looking at it anymore.   
> In saying that I hope you enjoyed the story and its long-winded conclusion (it was supposed to be an epilogue and it turned out to be longer than all the other chapters lol)
> 
> Thanks for sticking around and seeing this all the way through 💖💖💖 All my love!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading xx  
> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated 💖  
> You can find me on Tumblr here [@captainstennerstar](https://captainstennerstar.tumblr.com/)


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